Monday, December 3, 2012

Woolworths, what did you do to my pizza?

Folks, this is a story about a pizza, a frozen pizza. Not just any old frozen pizza, but a Woolies Select brand pizza.

Called Mushroom and Mozzarella, packaging claims it has been wood fired and the dough hand stretched in Italy.

I don’t know about you, but I am having great difficulty conjuring up an image of a room full of dudes looking out across the Mediterranean working their asses off, churning out tens of thousands of Woolies pizzas!!!

Take a look at the picture of the plated pizza. On the left is the Woolies product, and on the right pieces from a frozen McCains pizza.

Now, take a look at the Woolies picture on its packaging.

Yep, at least the name of the product is accurate. Mushroom (ONE SLICED UP) and Mozzarella.

So, I called the Woolies Consumer number and had the most riveting one-way conversation.

Despite my various questions and comments, the only response I got was for me to take it back and obtain a refund.

I was more interested in talking about the picture on the bloody box!

For the life of me I just cannot see how in this day and age these people think they can get away with this type of visual deception.

And as far as being hand-stretched, methinks the only stretching going on here is that of the imagination.

I know that in the grand scheme of things there are more important things to worry about in life.

But come on, fair dinkum…a one mushroom pizza?

Final Scores:

Woolies 0/10
McCains 8/10

Matchs the pic
Woolies 0/10
McCains 10/10

Yep,'ve done it again! Well done.


Boo_Squared said...

On one hand, there are certainly much bigger and more important issues in life than this one to worry about. But on the other hand, I am in complete and utter agreement with you!
You are absolutely right. The underlying issue here, is that lying is so prevalent that giant corporations like Woolworths can brazenly mislead the public without a qualm and when challenged, will pathetically offer you a refund when what they should do is offer you an APOLOGY, issue a public acknowledgement that they LIED and immediately pull the product off the shelves and replace it with the one actually advertised.
WHY does Woolworths show the public such contempt? I'll tell you why, it's because they think we are sheep and too stupid to realise the massive disparity between the promoted product and the REAL product. Or, maybe, that's the thing, they DO accept there's a massive disparity but don't care because they figure with a careless shrug, that's just what marketing is all about.
My suggestion to Woolworths is that they put their shitty one mushroom pizza into a plain brown cardboard box with the name "no fuss, no muss cheap ass generic pizza that tastes hot but not much else but hey, it's only $x so what do you expect and at least it'll fill you up when you're so hungry you don't care what you eat as long as you don't pass out." I know this name is slightly long so I wouldn't mind if Woolworth's hijacked it without acknowledging me as the source, and finessed it a bit so it can be formatted onto three neat lines.
My final suggestions to Woolworth's lying Marketing people would include,don't bother putting a picture on it because seriously it just pisses people off and, stop being pathetic by saying it's homemade (yeah right, as homemade as you can get in a Taiwanese factory with child labour*), and sure as eggs don't lie to the public about a product that has 3 ingredients and not much of that either.
Actually, the only ingredient Woolworths has in overflowing abundance, and they lavishly spread around, is bullshit.

*I don't actually know, or claim that Woolworth's pizzas are made in a Taiwanese factory using child labour. I'm using sarcasm to underline my point, so if Woolworth's read this comment they can a) jam it up their clacker and b) sue me for lying about complaining about their lying.

Anonymous said...

Hi Rob. Now that's a dramatic change in direction. Frozen pizzas. Nevertheless, your accurate hammer whacks the nail on the head, again.
I noticed on the FB AdelaideNow comments you will be buying another one today. Looking forward to that post.
Catchya, Melissa.

Anonymous said...

Hi Rob
Did you notice that Woolworths at Muray Bridge was charged with out of date food?
One of your former workmates

Anonymous said...

Hi Rob
I laughed and laughed so much watching you on the "Watch Unsuspecting Irishman on a Sydney Harbour Cruise ... - Blip" tears were running down my face
one of your workmates from the past

Anonymous said...

By the way Rob,
Could you consider writing an article about "constructive dismissal". I think that is the right term.
It's when they cannot find a proper reason to sack you. It is just that they hate you. Perhaps you remind them of their inadequacy. So instead they progressively remove work from you piecemeal. Hoping that you will feel so shamed that you will slink away and save them the bother of sacking you.
My view is that they are the losers, not me
(you know who wrote this)
And I really hope you are OK

John said...

I realise this was written a few years ago, but I feel it's still as relevant as ever. It's not like anything has changed.
As a long time aficionado, if not connoisseur of the frozen pizza, I completely agree that these misleading visual product descriptions are ethically wrong and have to change.
People may defend the unrepresentative photos, saying "they're just pictures, we all know that's never what the food *really* looks like", but actually for a first time buyer of a new product it is perfectly reasonable to rely largely on the picture to make an assessment.
My main problem is that these pictures are clearly not even of the same product. It's not that they're simply lit well, or photoshopped, or showing an unrealistic version of the pizza. it's a different fucking pizza! There's no way one of those came out of the box it's pictured on.
It's completely deceptive.

I rest my case. Good day to you.

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